Feeling a Little Horse

Tomorrow sees the third annual horsy triathlon at Windsor Racecourse, in which horses run & jump, swim and then shoot, all in the name of a good old day out. Injured horses may have to be shot early, but Pimms will be cheap. Here are a few horses showing recent good form, and on whom it might be worth having a little flutter:

There Is No Pudding (15/1)
Monty’s Kidney Stones (2/1 - almost certain win)
Spleen On The Run (15/2)
Bastard Glow (30/1 but on good form nonetheless)
Fred Astairway To Heaven’s Doors (4/1)
Lame Barry (5/2)
Bulgarian Rape Alibi (7/3)
Spare Some Lungs, Guvnor? (22/1)
Lucy’s Vomit (16/1)
Quim Denial (16/1)
Sorry, Wrong Genocide (fx/y)
Paul McCartney’s Leftovers (dy/dx)
Lavender Blitzkrieg (>/<)
Quadriplegic Dancehall ($$$)
That’s It – I’m Glue For Sure ("fucking great odds")
Inner Thigh Voodoo (horse contains pistons)
Bashir Basher (already dead and half rottened)
Nazi Toddler (153/2)
Face-slash du Jour (1/16)
Baptism Bloodbath (12:30pm)

If dog racing is more your thing, click here to get bitchlucky.

For more information on dealing with a gambling problem, visit Friar Cous-Cous for partial, Catholic advice.