Bastiard
Not many people are aware that back when the Tories were in power, there was a different Foreign Secretary for just one day. Hermanzie Bastiard had worked hard to get into the position, only to be removed the same day following a press conference in which he made explicitly racist, xenophobic and homophobic comments. The conference was cut short, but not before Bastiard had managed to offend a majority of the room, along with an impressive portion of the world to whom the conference was being televised live and, incredibly, with no delay system in place.
Asked about European relations, Bastiard was animated:
The French cannot help but run away from danger. I say, stop running, and while you’re at it, clean up your drains and sort out your dog shit problem. I kid you not, I stepped in 7 separate dog fouls just in a recent booze-cruise to Calais. I will have nothing to do with Sweden, who are overtly homosexual and who therefore risk bringing disease and whining into this country in epidemic proportions if allowed to do so. I do however feel for the Germans, who we beat in both of the world wars, and who could forget 1966’s World Cup, which was in my opinion a kind of Third World War.”
Asked about the current problems with racism in the workplace, Bastiard had responded:
“There are clearly biological differences between the blackies and [God’s gentle] white folk. For a start, they are biologically black. They contain theft glands more than 300 times the size of a [gracious] white man, and their hearts work through what are called ‘niggervalves’.
John Major, having recommended Bastiard’s resignation, had admitted that the appointment of an extrovert xenophobe had been “a gross mistake, which is easy to say with hindsight. I remember asking him to tone it down somewhat prior to the meeting, but he assured me that because the conference was being held in Liverpool, no-one was likely to be intelligent enough to understand anyway, if they weren’t even too busy stealing cars or raping folk. Clearly he was wrong.”
Asked about European relations, Bastiard was animated:
The French cannot help but run away from danger. I say, stop running, and while you’re at it, clean up your drains and sort out your dog shit problem. I kid you not, I stepped in 7 separate dog fouls just in a recent booze-cruise to Calais. I will have nothing to do with Sweden, who are overtly homosexual and who therefore risk bringing disease and whining into this country in epidemic proportions if allowed to do so. I do however feel for the Germans, who we beat in both of the world wars, and who could forget 1966’s World Cup, which was in my opinion a kind of Third World War.”
Asked about the current problems with racism in the workplace, Bastiard had responded:
“There are clearly biological differences between the blackies and [God’s gentle] white folk. For a start, they are biologically black. They contain theft glands more than 300 times the size of a [gracious] white man, and their hearts work through what are called ‘niggervalves’.
John Major, having recommended Bastiard’s resignation, had admitted that the appointment of an extrovert xenophobe had been “a gross mistake, which is easy to say with hindsight. I remember asking him to tone it down somewhat prior to the meeting, but he assured me that because the conference was being held in Liverpool, no-one was likely to be intelligent enough to understand anyway, if they weren’t even too busy stealing cars or raping folk. Clearly he was wrong.”
posted by JS at 1/11/2005 07:57:00 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home